Disney Has Signed Bruno Mars To Star In And Produce What Will Likely Be The Greatest Animated Movie Ever Created
Raise your hand if you thought Bruno was playing "Runaway" by Kanye after those first three notes
Deadline- After months of discussion, Disney has set a deal with Bruno Mars. The studio will develop a music-themed theatrical narrative feature that Mars will star in and produce. The plot is being kept under wraps, but I’m told that it will consist of mostly original music that he will create and perform.
Well would you look at that. Not only does it appear that Disney is taking a break from skullfucking all of its animated classics by either rebooting them as shitty live action films or giving them sequels that don't live up to the originals. But it seems like they are bringing in the biggest gun in the music game to do so.
Now I have made no secret about my love of Bruno Mars. Not to go all hipster, but I thought he was the most electrifying man in music entertainment after he released his first album. All he has done since then is drop hit after hit, dominate a few Super Bowl Halftime Shows with some of the best performances ever, and hit for the Triple Crown at the Grammys.
Everything Bruno Mars touches turns to gold motherfucking platinum. And it's not even just all the talent Bruno has coming out of his tiny little frame. Dude has been GRINDING to become a superstar ever since he was a little kid.
What we have now is pretty much Tiger Woods of the music game at the absolute zenith of his powers (with no angry golf club wielding wife in sight) teaming up with the studio that has been the biggest name in kids movies forever. If Bruno's movie gets anything less than a 100 on Rotten Tomatoes and his soundtrack gets anything less than 5 stars in Rolling Stone, free Ball Don't Lie shirts for anybody that clicked this blog.
BONUS Personal Mount Rushmore For Animated Disney Movies (Not Including Pixar Movies):
1. Moana
Between the music, the story, the likable hero, the fun assortment of villains, and the fact the goddamn Rock is in it, Moana is the best animated Disney movie ever in my opinion.
2. The Lion King
The GOAT until Moana came around. And yes, I still fast forward past Mufasa's death.
3. Wreck It Ralph
Frozen, The Little Mermaid, and Aladdin all have unlimited bangers on their soundtracks and are good movies to varying degrees. But as a chubby kid that grew up playing video games, Wreck It Ralph speaks to my soul SIGNIFICANTLY more than any of those movies or the classic Disney princess movies ever did.
4. Bruno's Disney Movie Before It's Even Made
Yeah, there is nooooooo way that dude is making anything short of the perfect animated musical movie with the power of The Mouse behind him. Fuck it, you know what? We're finishing the blog with the first Super Bowl performance because it's still the gold standard in my book.
h/t Max